A couple of thoughts on my level of independence while here in Colombia.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
One Month In
I've been in Colombia for one month now and here is my first video entry. As the weeks go by I will continue to post more videos describing my experiences.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Torn Between Two Worlds
Monday, September 12…as I drove away from my house and out of DC I felt an incredible pain. I was crying, I had an empty feeling in my stomach and my heart physically hurt. This feeling was familiar…last time I felt this pain was March 6, the day I left Colombia.
I couldn’t believe it, I had no idea that leaving DC was going to hit me that hard. I was supposed to leave Saturday September 10th but I postponed my drive as much as I could. Monday morning everyone was at work so it was easier to leave then. That day I realized that I would always be torn between two worlds – my life here in the states, specifically Washington, DC, and my life with my family in Colombia.
I can’t say that I love one more than the other and I can’t say that one is better than the other. They are unique and special to me in their own way. It would be ideal if I could merge the two to become one, but then I don’t think they would be as special. I don’t think I would treasure my life and my experiences as much. But boy does it suck to leave one.
Sitting in my grandmother’s house, cousins coming in and out, aunts arguing, uncles telling jokes, all while eating some of the most delicious food I’ve had in my life to me is pure bliss. I am so happy when surrounded by my family. Beyond happy.
Then picture me sitting in my house in DC, eating brunch that I cooked with my friends, drinking mimosas and laughing, non-stop laughing…again pure bliss.
How do I choose between the two? I can’t. I just can’t say that one is better than the other. I can’t pick one over the other. I have to live in both. Back and forth between two worlds.
I can only think to thank God for giving me two amazing worlds filled with people that I love and show me love and support in return. I can’t be upset; I can’t continue to ask “why do I have to be apart from the people that I love so much?”
Instead I have to be grateful for these two worlds that I am torn between.
I couldn’t believe it, I had no idea that leaving DC was going to hit me that hard. I was supposed to leave Saturday September 10th but I postponed my drive as much as I could. Monday morning everyone was at work so it was easier to leave then. That day I realized that I would always be torn between two worlds – my life here in the states, specifically Washington, DC, and my life with my family in Colombia.
I can’t say that I love one more than the other and I can’t say that one is better than the other. They are unique and special to me in their own way. It would be ideal if I could merge the two to become one, but then I don’t think they would be as special. I don’t think I would treasure my life and my experiences as much. But boy does it suck to leave one.
Sitting in my grandmother’s house, cousins coming in and out, aunts arguing, uncles telling jokes, all while eating some of the most delicious food I’ve had in my life to me is pure bliss. I am so happy when surrounded by my family. Beyond happy.
Then picture me sitting in my house in DC, eating brunch that I cooked with my friends, drinking mimosas and laughing, non-stop laughing…again pure bliss.
How do I choose between the two? I can’t. I just can’t say that one is better than the other. I can’t pick one over the other. I have to live in both. Back and forth between two worlds.
I can only think to thank God for giving me two amazing worlds filled with people that I love and show me love and support in return. I can’t be upset; I can’t continue to ask “why do I have to be apart from the people that I love so much?”
Instead I have to be grateful for these two worlds that I am torn between.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Horseback Riding in Pucón, Chile
I've always wanted to go horseback riding. It looked like fun. In Colombia my family goes horseback riding a lot, especially during Medellin's annual Feria de las Flores in August. It's a 10 day celebration of Medellin's culture and, more importantly, the beauty of it's flowers. But anyway, in the Fall of 2007, while studying abroad in Santiago, Chile a group of friends and I traveled south to Pucón, a beautiful mountainous area with a nice river, very secluded...nothing like the busy city of Santiago.
Some of us thought it would be nice to go horseback riding so we signed up for a three hour ride. Lesson to those going horse back riding for the first time: don't go for three hours! Go for less time so that you don't end up soar for the next two days. Once it was over my legs were hurting and I could barely walk.
The first 45 minutes of the ride I was praying for my life. Now I am a short girl, and being high on top of a horse made the fall to the ground look extremely long. I of course was given the horse that didn't like to stay behind our tour guide, no, my horse felt the need to get ahead of the whole group and go his own way. I was told to control him and to stay with the group, ya like I was going to be able to do that. Luckily after a lot of pulling and tugging and "No" and "quedese" (stay) my horse managed to stay put. Then I had trouble dealing with my horses' constant need to bend down and eat grass or drink water. I leaned forward with the horse screaming and praying that I wouldn't fall. I get that he needed to eat but I would have loved some type of signal or warning beforehand.
Towards the end of our tour we came across a small river and one of the horses got scared and leaned up and back, tossing my friend my to the floor. After that I was definitely holding on for dear life. My friend was alright and we were able to get past the small river but then our guide thought he would take us through an even longer and deeper river. Immediately we said no and he was forced to find another way to take us.
Overall the trip was fun. I am thankful for the experience and glad that I can cross it off of my bucket list. But I don't plan on doing it a second time.
Some of us thought it would be nice to go horseback riding so we signed up for a three hour ride. Lesson to those going horse back riding for the first time: don't go for three hours! Go for less time so that you don't end up soar for the next two days. Once it was over my legs were hurting and I could barely walk.
The first 45 minutes of the ride I was praying for my life. Now I am a short girl, and being high on top of a horse made the fall to the ground look extremely long. I of course was given the horse that didn't like to stay behind our tour guide, no, my horse felt the need to get ahead of the whole group and go his own way. I was told to control him and to stay with the group, ya like I was going to be able to do that. Luckily after a lot of pulling and tugging and "No" and "quedese" (stay) my horse managed to stay put. Then I had trouble dealing with my horses' constant need to bend down and eat grass or drink water. I leaned forward with the horse screaming and praying that I wouldn't fall. I get that he needed to eat but I would have loved some type of signal or warning beforehand.
Towards the end of our tour we came across a small river and one of the horses got scared and leaned up and back, tossing my friend my to the floor. After that I was definitely holding on for dear life. My friend was alright and we were able to get past the small river but then our guide thought he would take us through an even longer and deeper river. Immediately we said no and he was forced to find another way to take us.
Overall the trip was fun. I am thankful for the experience and glad that I can cross it off of my bucket list. But I don't plan on doing it a second time.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Boston Celtics vs Miami Heat Playoff Game 3 - May 7, 2011
I was going home for Mother's Day weekend and it just so happened that Game 3 in Boston was on that Saturday. As soon as I realized this I started looking for tickets. I thought, I am going to be in Massachusetts for one of the most awaited NBA playoff games, of course I have to go. I bought the tickets a week before the game. I thought, who does that??? A real fan, that's who. Some may say this was more of a present for myself but on the contrary, my mom has loved basketball for years and is just as much a fan as I am. Every time my mom and I go to the TD Garden for a game we make sure to buy something of the Celtics. This time we bought an umbrella and a Ray Allen jersey for my mom.
The energy at the TD Garden during a regular season game is intense and at a playoff game it is ten times more intense. It was so exciting to be around so many fans. Everyone cheering at the same time, booing at the same time, ooo's and aah's in unison, it was amazing. People I didn't even know where giving me high five's. It was so great.
Those of you who watch basketball know that Game 3 was the game where PG Rajon Rondo fell and dislocated his elbow. I, of course, was freaking out, being that Rajon Rondo is my favorite player on the team and I can honestly say that I have been a huge fan of him from the beginning. Rondo went to the locker room, got his elbow popped back into place and minutes later he was right back on the floor. I am telling, you when the crowd saw him out there everyone went nuts. From that moment on the crowd never went silent. There was just constant cheering. Rondo was out to win and he showed everyone in that stadium how much he wanted it. Unfortunately the rest of the series did not go as we would have liked but I am just beyond grateful that I was able to be there for that game.
The energy at the TD Garden during a regular season game is intense and at a playoff game it is ten times more intense. It was so exciting to be around so many fans. Everyone cheering at the same time, booing at the same time, ooo's and aah's in unison, it was amazing. People I didn't even know where giving me high five's. It was so great.
Those of you who watch basketball know that Game 3 was the game where PG Rajon Rondo fell and dislocated his elbow. I, of course, was freaking out, being that Rajon Rondo is my favorite player on the team and I can honestly say that I have been a huge fan of him from the beginning. Rondo went to the locker room, got his elbow popped back into place and minutes later he was right back on the floor. I am telling, you when the crowd saw him out there everyone went nuts. From that moment on the crowd never went silent. There was just constant cheering. Rondo was out to win and he showed everyone in that stadium how much he wanted it. Unfortunately the rest of the series did not go as we would have liked but I am just beyond grateful that I was able to be there for that game.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Fall in Love.....More than Once
'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson
I agree.
No matter how painful the loss may be, being in love, loving someone, being loved by someone, it all teaches you so much. At the end of the day, the pain is worth it. The pain is worth having known love, the pain is worth all of those wonderful memories.
If I have to experience the pain of losing love in order to fully understand and experience love then so be it.
At one point I thought I can't keep doing this. I can't keep falling and giving so much of myself for fear that I wouldn't have anything else left to give. But a close friend told me that once I met someone worthy I would find it in me. I would be able to love unconditionally. And she is right. There is nothing wrong with falling in love more than once. In fact, I think it's better.
Through every relationship that I have been in I have learned something. I have learned something about men, something about relationships, and always, something more about myself. I've grown with every relationship and I appreciate all of them.
I've been in love and I have fallen out of love. I've been in lust and fallen out of lust. Through it all I have come out a stronger woman and I can only be patient for the next moment that I will fall, fall uncontrollably in love.
And I will embrace that moment, taking with me every lesson I have learned, I will appreciate it. I will reciprocate the love given to me.
If not then what else is there to do? What else is there to do but love yourself and love someone else?
- Alfred Lord Tennyson
I agree.
No matter how painful the loss may be, being in love, loving someone, being loved by someone, it all teaches you so much. At the end of the day, the pain is worth it. The pain is worth having known love, the pain is worth all of those wonderful memories.
If I have to experience the pain of losing love in order to fully understand and experience love then so be it.
At one point I thought I can't keep doing this. I can't keep falling and giving so much of myself for fear that I wouldn't have anything else left to give. But a close friend told me that once I met someone worthy I would find it in me. I would be able to love unconditionally. And she is right. There is nothing wrong with falling in love more than once. In fact, I think it's better.
Through every relationship that I have been in I have learned something. I have learned something about men, something about relationships, and always, something more about myself. I've grown with every relationship and I appreciate all of them.
I've been in love and I have fallen out of love. I've been in lust and fallen out of lust. Through it all I have come out a stronger woman and I can only be patient for the next moment that I will fall, fall uncontrollably in love.
And I will embrace that moment, taking with me every lesson I have learned, I will appreciate it. I will reciprocate the love given to me.
If not then what else is there to do? What else is there to do but love yourself and love someone else?
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Second Tattoo - March 4, 2011 - Orgullo Colombiano
My first tattoo didn't really hurt. It stung a little at first and then it just tickled. It also only took a total of about ten minutes to do.
After the first one I thought, okay, that wasn't bad, I wouldn't be opposed to another one. Plus I had one more open space for a tattoo, my left thigh. I figured that if I ever did get another one it would have something to do with my Colombian roots. But time went on and I didn't give it much thought.
Two weeks before my trip to Colombia in March I started giving the tattoo more thought. And I figured if I am going to get a tattoo of either the colors of the Colombian flag or words representing my Colombian pride I just HAVE to get it done in Colombia, how appropriate would that be?!?!?
Thinking about this tattoo was a lot harder then my first one. I changed my mind multiple times, I talked it over with my family in Colombia. As we drove through Medellin we thought of various phrases "Hecha en Colombia, Sangre Colombiana, 100% Colombiana, Alma Colombiana" etc. And the list went on...But of course some of these caused quite a stir because I wasn't actually made in Colombia, technically I am not 100% Colombian. I was born and raised in Massachusetts. But that's a whole other story, in my heart and in my soul I feel Colombian, I don't care what anybody else says. Again, the tattoo is for ME, not for anyone else.
But my cousins' wife suggested that I just go with an image and forgo the idea of words. A picture is worth a 1000 words, right? I knew I wanted the colors of the flag but not the flag itself. I googled a number of images and came across a ribbon with the colors and our crest and some words on it but instantly I thought, the ribbon is perfect. It just worked. I didn't want it to be too big or too complex. Simple, I wanted it simple, with just the colors of the Colombian flag: amarillo, azul, y rojo.
So I did it. I was freaking out at the tattoo salon, Tijuana Tattoo, odd name I thought. I was freaking out acting like I had not already gone through this process before. But I hadn't. This was a more complex tattoo, it was still small but it required filling in with colors. That hurt. Not the whole time but there were some parts of my thigh that, once hit, I felt it! It look longer then my first one. But once it was done I was in love. I still look at it every day and I am so happy with it.
I thought to myself who does that?!?! A second tattoo, colors of a flag of a country that I have never even lived in....but I do. I do that. I have an intense feeling of attachment to Colombia that I cannot even describe. That is who I am, if I were not Colombian I would not be the same person.
After the first one I thought, okay, that wasn't bad, I wouldn't be opposed to another one. Plus I had one more open space for a tattoo, my left thigh. I figured that if I ever did get another one it would have something to do with my Colombian roots. But time went on and I didn't give it much thought.
Two weeks before my trip to Colombia in March I started giving the tattoo more thought. And I figured if I am going to get a tattoo of either the colors of the Colombian flag or words representing my Colombian pride I just HAVE to get it done in Colombia, how appropriate would that be?!?!?
Thinking about this tattoo was a lot harder then my first one. I changed my mind multiple times, I talked it over with my family in Colombia. As we drove through Medellin we thought of various phrases "Hecha en Colombia, Sangre Colombiana, 100% Colombiana, Alma Colombiana" etc. And the list went on...But of course some of these caused quite a stir because I wasn't actually made in Colombia, technically I am not 100% Colombian. I was born and raised in Massachusetts. But that's a whole other story, in my heart and in my soul I feel Colombian, I don't care what anybody else says. Again, the tattoo is for ME, not for anyone else.
But my cousins' wife suggested that I just go with an image and forgo the idea of words. A picture is worth a 1000 words, right? I knew I wanted the colors of the flag but not the flag itself. I googled a number of images and came across a ribbon with the colors and our crest and some words on it but instantly I thought, the ribbon is perfect. It just worked. I didn't want it to be too big or too complex. Simple, I wanted it simple, with just the colors of the Colombian flag: amarillo, azul, y rojo.
So I did it. I was freaking out at the tattoo salon, Tijuana Tattoo, odd name I thought. I was freaking out acting like I had not already gone through this process before. But I hadn't. This was a more complex tattoo, it was still small but it required filling in with colors. That hurt. Not the whole time but there were some parts of my thigh that, once hit, I felt it! It look longer then my first one. But once it was done I was in love. I still look at it every day and I am so happy with it.
I thought to myself who does that?!?! A second tattoo, colors of a flag of a country that I have never even lived in....but I do. I do that. I have an intense feeling of attachment to Colombia that I cannot even describe. That is who I am, if I were not Colombian I would not be the same person.
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